Things Toronto Taught Me: Part Deux….. or Trois…..

So today I re-started my blog which I had inadvertently abandoned in favour of starting a Twitter business, moving, and getting a new job.  Okay, so the “move” was a 30-minute walk away from my other place, which I stayed at for about one night a month, but still.  I moved.

I got an e-mail that people liked my last post, so I’m gonna post another.  Just like that, you get more reading material.  I can see this becoming cyclic….. and I’m okay with that.

One category I forgot about was my “Things Toronto Taught Me” segment, mostly providing an outlet for my frustrations of society in the biggest city/metropolis/megasuperexpansivethingy in Canada.  Yes, Spell Check, I realize that isn’t a word, but thanks for providing it some colour.  Gahh, I’m in Canada, Spell Check — colour is supposed to be spelled with a “u”!  I digress.

Today’s submission of factoids and junk I learned in the big T.O.:

  • Winter doesn’t really start until the snow sticks to the ground….. and that surprisingly won’t happen until the end of December (if then).  In Niagara where I grew up, we’d have snow right at the beginning, and a few weeks full of lake effect winter before Christmas arrived.
  • The sickest people in the city will always ride the TTC.
  • The ones hacking up a lung will always choose the seat next to you.
  • Some people are immune to winter.  This becomes especially evident on Friday and Saturday nights, particularly in front of clubs with long lineups.
  • This will always make me giggle to myself, and snuggle deeper into my sensible coat, double-mittens, and an awesomely fuzzy hat (if I can ever find one).
  • Uggs were not invented by Canadians.  At least I doubt it.  If they were, well I’m stumped.
  • Scarves better not go out of style.
  • What few animals there are in the city get dumber as it gets colder.  Today we almost ran over a squirrel who stopped in front of us and pretty much could have written the tunes for his own funeral by the time he realized he should turn back around.
  • It may not be winter, but it’s pretty flippin’ cold to me.
  • Swans must be pretty smug in the bird world at this time of year.  Okay Toronto didn’t teach me that, I just thought about it now.  But they’re probably all like, “I’m a swan, I’m white, nobody can see me, squawk squawk squaaaaaaaawk.”  Of course their honk is annoying as heck, so they’re probably just as much of a target as usual, just, you know, smug-er.

Um, so that’s all I have to say about that.

Stupid smug swans.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice…..

….. if pop/soda/carbonated beverages could stand on their own as drinkable beverages when they lose their fizz?

 

Also, am I the only one who has trouble swallowing those drinks because of the amount of fizz??  I actually have to let them sit open for a while or shake them if I don’t want to feel like I’m just gulping air!

Who Could Resist?

Short post today. I’ve been reading a lot, so that cut down on my blogging, such as it is.
Really, my only reason for posting today is because I have tried to keep up with Post a Week 2011, and I think maybe I missed a week in there. Plus, I got tired of seeing people type “First” whenever they are the first to post on a blog item or Facebook update or something many people will read.

The update came from the Blue Jays on Facebook, and someone’s “First” made me mentally cringe. I decided not to bother holding back and wrote: “First? First to what? First to type “First.”? First to expose yourself as a superstitious follower of a trend no one could understand or explain as being worthy of the time it took to partake, or a narcissistic ploy for praise from all the Interwebz who will undoubtedly be jealous of your impressive ability to correctly type the letters f,i,r,s,t, and a period? Or are you referring to someone standing on first base that we should be aware of? I don’t see anyone on first, but maybe you do. So who’s on first?! I don’t know. THIRD BASE!”

Really, who could resist?
(Maybe Who could…..)

The Fallacy of Noses

The human body is miraculous and stupid.

You might think if we got sick in the wild, we might, you know, develop some sort of actual protection against further sickness. Instead, the body decides to make noses run. I don’t get it. When you can’t breathe well to start with, how the heck are you supposed to breathe when your nose is stuffed? Through your mouth? You mean, the thing that has no protection except tonsils against further infection? Tonsils, which can themselves easily get infected? The cycle seems intent on ridding the world of sick people, instead of ridding people of sickness. *sigh* I guess you could say that noses….. blow.

Curiosity Killed the Radio Star

Have you ever been struck by a desire to know something? Something that’s virtually impossible to ever know? I’m not talking how the world began, or what it’s like to go back in time. I mean really stupid things….. like how many people have stepped on that particular block of sidewalk since it was made. Or, how many people have placed their foot in the exact same position as you on that step (do you think it’s many, or very few?)…..

I get this all the time, and what drives me nuts is that since my conditioning to a world with computer memory, I feel if we’d only thought early enough, we could have recorded x if we’d just thought to ask. Like, what is the average rating of people’s moods when the sky appears light purple like right after a storm? How many people have listened to Pat Benatar while blogging in the last week?/month?/ever? Or even, how many times have I thought about peanuts in my life? Why do I need to know? I have no idea, but I just do. Yay peanuts!

That’s all.

Lookalikes!


Johnny Damon looks like a nutcracker.

No, literally, like one of those Christmas nutcrackers with the fancy red uniforms.  Think that’s weird?  Read on.


Ryan Garko looks like a Muppet (still trying to figure out which one).

Travis Hafner reminds me of Edward Kowalczyk from the band +Live+.

Jaime Pressly looks a bit like a frog — a very beautiful frog, which is odd and cool at the same time.

And best of all, I have a friend who looks across between Andy Roddick and Adam Lind!  🙂