Potpourri

filaments, lodged in between
sweet careen
sea grasses, sway your thoughts
virtuous green
crushing petals just to get the scent
cracking bones in the main event
resist just ‘cuz it tempts you
you think it must be wrong
filling gaps, lodged in between
wipe it clean
sunglasses, light up your sight
so you can’t see
potpourri

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Insomnia

how long does it take?
a million thoughts per second
I have only to grasp but one
and make it stick
but this delusional misery
makes me different
and silences the norm

to shadow someone
I choke at the thought
my independent sea
took many years to fill
and I don’t know how to swim but there
I’ve become nocturnal
and my body now frightens easily
I’m choking again

I cannot fathom why
and every day people ask
I laugh but I’m scared

it’s a lovely thing to have dreams
yet I avoid sleep
so as not to have them end

I swear to me it’s dark as dust
and just as mystical

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Distinction

I guess I was overcome
so cold, so frigid
snapping crisply
I went to control my actions
and found it closed
so I walked

I found my step
along with cranberry thoughts
and I knew I was alone
for the good and the bad
I stomped out the march
of my walk

imagine my surprise
when my eyes grazed the snow
and the indents were fresh
but they weren’t mine
someone else had come
for my walk

oh how the mind reels!
alas I’m not so alone
this arrogance of mine
just wanted to sulk
in its singularity
on my walk

so I rounded a tree
traversed back behind
crossing new paths
with each little dance
to remain with my stance
and my unparalleled walk

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Harbour

if you ask me I will tell
the story of my chance
sentences strung as one
beautiful words taking turns
to paint the scene
of immortal love

if you ask me I won’t hide
won’t push the thoughts aside
you’ve always been light
ever since the first
and I sense till the end
oh to be there, with love

if you ask me I will say
truth to you, one
do you know I’ve been there?
just ask and I will say
like a stem grows each day
to hold its beauty high in the air

yes, love, I’ve been there
I have seen what I should not
and I didn’t want to return
but you — yes, you frighten
I could swear on my life
you take my breath away

love, have you been there?
I want to change your mind
I want to show it could be
love, I beg you to tell me
someday you’ll join me there

      

        

Finished: 6:18 a.m., Tuesday, November 20th, 2007. (adjustments 6:26 a.m. to final verse, same day; further adjustments 6:32 a.m., again to the final verse, again the same day).
Copyright L.M. 2007. (see note on next poem. perhaps exaggeration, emphasis on feeling, not necessarily definition).

Inventory

I want you to know
every one of you
that I don’t cry for you
I don’t weep
I’m not heartbroken
for nothing can break
through stone

ups and downs
everyday drama
it’s not my thing
I’d rather hide in the forest
and wait for you to find me

as it is, I look for you
outside my door
exiting my life
and wonder if you’ll be back
because I never know for sure

where did I get these thoughts?

did Einstein suffer depression?
I suppose he must have
thoughts like that from me
have pricked the plume anew
though I like the solitary company

I bend
far too much
so much so
that I don’t know
within myself
where I search
and daily toss
the dye that bleeds me

I know where we stand
each and every single one of us
and I will continue to try
to rationalize
and objectify
myself in my mind
just for you

I soared into storm clouds
higher than life
I cannot blame the messenger
but yet I can’t help
feeling tossed
like stale bread
soaking up any hint of warmth
to postpone the brittle battle
I will play by your rules
I will chisel a path
as long as you still try
and as long as I don’t fall
but I should let you know
I don’t feel your respect
not today, nor yesterday
not in the slightest
don’t you see?
I’m the doll
the smiling face which you do greet
with open arms and fleeing feet
sighing, wishing for a day
with ladders finally tossed away
so I may sit alongside you
with worries none, and fears few
the palm I’m in is over-filled
and not exactly what I willed
but choices few, this chiselled stone
is all I have to call my own

Copyright L.M. 2007.  (written a couple months ago, and again I recognize the poem isn’t very good haha).

Hanging On (2005)

I cannot say I’m pleased
repetition is, however, foreseeable
and I did not foresee
a failure on my part for feeling
the rudimentary error of my species
a mistake Mother Nature corrected with the others
and hoping
a moronic faux-pas in this century
if I collapse, you’ll understand
for I’ve forgotten what is new
and I’ll remember the old
all over again so it is once more fresh and disturbed

tiny speckled thoughts of random
tear me away into bliss
but sharp jabs in my side remind me
such cringing should be my guest
it heralds not impossibility
and speaks with the ancient eyes
so why do I feel so lost and helpless
when my stage continues to grow
and my crowd fights it out amongst themselves
this mantle is silent but near implosion
with albums of fear and hatred and ignorance
weighing down on the chance for sustainment
but bricks are strong
and though the weight is mighty
it keeps me afloat somehow
my worries only feelings
those rancid add-ons to our faulty line

Copyright L.M. 2007.

For Now

and for now, I wait
a burning tumbling sinking feeling
what can be done without it?
my knowledge stands pillars beside
inspires my thoughts’ return inside

and for now, I wait
pacing and singing and all-around nerves say
how much can you stand
for feeling so cold, it’s strange that I sweat
and my only motivation is avoiding regret

and for now, I wait
wailing internal, eternal, the bite stings
oh cursed obsessions
I want to be everything, everything
yeah I want to be everything, everything

and if I find out why
can I then justify
all my reasons why
I ought not even try

 

Finished: 9:41 p.m., Thursday, November 1st, 2007.