Inventory

I want you to know
every one of you
that I don’t cry for you
I don’t weep
I’m not heartbroken
for nothing can break
through stone

ups and downs
everyday drama
it’s not my thing
I’d rather hide in the forest
and wait for you to find me

as it is, I look for you
outside my door
exiting my life
and wonder if you’ll be back
because I never know for sure

where did I get these thoughts?

did Einstein suffer depression?
I suppose he must have
thoughts like that from me
have pricked the plume anew
though I like the solitary company

I bend
far too much
so much so
that I don’t know
within myself
where I search
and daily toss
the dye that bleeds me

I know where we stand
each and every single one of us
and I will continue to try
to rationalize
and objectify
myself in my mind
just for you

I soared into storm clouds
higher than life
I cannot blame the messenger
but yet I can’t help
feeling tossed
like stale bread
soaking up any hint of warmth
to postpone the brittle battle
I will play by your rules
I will chisel a path
as long as you still try
and as long as I don’t fall
but I should let you know
I don’t feel your respect
not today, nor yesterday
not in the slightest
don’t you see?
I’m the doll
the smiling face which you do greet
with open arms and fleeing feet
sighing, wishing for a day
with ladders finally tossed away
so I may sit alongside you
with worries none, and fears few
the palm I’m in is over-filled
and not exactly what I willed
but choices few, this chiselled stone
is all I have to call my own

Copyright L.M. 2007.  (written a couple months ago, and again I recognize the poem isn’t very good haha).

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Clips

Here are some clips of things I saved looooooooong ago.

sleepy sleepy quiet and weepy
wand’ring, floating over land
turn me o’er so you can’t see me
i don’t think you’d understand            

My horns have shifted still I hold my head up where are you my angel whose smile lifts me up..i need you but i don’t need anyone

i’d like a pancake pillow upon which i’d sleep, to silence the sizzle with rest in the deep          [this was initiated because I’d often thought pancakes would make great pillows…..] 

             

from the boy who wonders to the man who thinks and a father who knows….. 
         to the man who snuggles with a dream when in reality grasps only a wrinkled sheet          

        

       

it’s all about the ducks. except the part that’s all about the sea turtles.

       

                        

when my cat is staring at my coat, i wonder what he’s thinking

when my cat is staring at the powerbar cord an inch from his face, i wonder what he’s thinking

when my cat is staring at the bare wall an inch from his face, i wonder what he’s thinking

    

how I love my half orange. Almost as much as my little fluffy thing.  Almost as much as my magic mouse.           [??!!]

          

         

knowledge sought on the subject of that which is disliked yields a greater appreciation of life

      

ahh to be a jangling bag of body parts…..                   [again:  ??!!]

     

neko o tabemasu! taihen oishii desu!

a lost crumpet in a sea full of breadstuff                                                              [followed by:]
i think that metaphor was more complicated than it was worth…..!                  [haha]

   

i’m a sexy vixen ;)….. and I just fell down the stairs. 

        

darn you, Glosette raisins! you will single-handedly beat my will-power to bits….. very yummy, chocolatey, raisiny bits…..                                                                                                                          [my weakness is chocolate, so sue me! ha]

              

seeding started: check. litterbox cleaned: check. shower: check. studying: ….. what do you think?

fast/junk food diet: check. extra 10 pounds from procrastinating: priceless.

       

note to tummy: please stop craving cinnaparts when you are stuffed and hurty

          

           

I held a shell up to the Sun

brushed away the hardened sand

sending light into the water

and I was calm

I took a flower in my hand

let the dew drip from the petals

into my open palm

and I was calm

           

            

So there you have it…… an amalgamation of random notes, messages, insights, outsights.  haha

I’m not entirely sure why I decided to do this, but once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop.  Well, there you go!