face
distraction
pain
and greed
look
around you
face
your need
time
has taught you
only
to lead
(so) break
the mold now
be free
I’ve wanted so much for you
more than you wanted me to
footsteps could lead me away
or bring me right back to you
upon the houses
the rain starts to fall
upon the benches
it drenches them all
and I’ve seen your light
it shines through the night
and upon the streets
far below
Copyright L.M. 2008.
like in movies
you can’t see the top
every one looks the same height
with trees disguised as shadows
and now the snow
lays accent on the slopes
peppering the hillsides
like cold sprinkled sugar
then we pass the slanted walls
pencil straight incisions
mark layers of sediment
showing hints of age, life
as the water tickles, trickles down
let’s raise those to the level they ought to be
oh gorgeous grazers of a sometimes He
Copyright L.M. 2007. (written in Virginia — ha! — on way to Florida.).
how long does it take?
a million thoughts per second
I have only to grasp but one
and make it stick
but this delusional misery
makes me different
and silences the norm
to shadow someone
I choke at the thought
my independent sea
took many years to fill
and I don’t know how to swim but there
I’ve become nocturnal
and my body now frightens easily
I’m choking again
I cannot fathom why
and every day people ask
I laugh but I’m scared
it’s a lovely thing to have dreams
yet I avoid sleep
so as not to have them end
I swear to me it’s dark as dust
and just as mystical
Copyright L.M. 2007.
yesterday I did a lot that will be forgotten
during the day
and upon arrival of the night I sat
within sight of stars and a friend
unable to contain my joy
I don’t care what it meant
it was part of my present
the little questions that crawl
slithering like wily wordsmiths
stab of criminality
inauthenticity
pressure
but I ignore them all
for whatever was meant
was all part of my present
I never ignore the truth
but sometimes it takes a while
and processing asks a fee
when something requires action
it finds a way of surfacing
and regardless of intent
it was all part of my present
if there is a problem with my words
perhaps it’s my turn for the blame?
well, that’s alright, I am strong
I know who I am
and I know what I need
I ask no one’s consent
to take part in my present
moderation is essential
and those who judge harshly
will lead a boring existence
for rules and standards and doctrines
bastardize life
where any threat of deviance
begins the cycle of torments
I live by me and my present
I should not be misunderstood
we all need a conscience
but show me a tribunal
for all our small misdeeds
and I will show you a hymnal
that touts many creeds
so you will see, and thus lament
your state of being, your sole attempt
and every hour you might repent
but I shall bask in my present
why care you of their dissent
life itself bids you relent
she mourns so many lives unspent
tomes filled with these nonevents
the only one you represent
is you, so follow your intent
it is your world to reinvent
and do what makes you most content
now should I like to end my words
with you
right here
my dear
I shall
Copyright L.M. 2007. (originally posted here at 2:15 a.m. tonight.).
dusty
stinging burns the dry
pulling tight today
trying to set it up
and I look ridiculous
could you believe
it’s about time
she’s asking me
to make another appearance
shocking though it may be
it’s part of my defense now
a line upon my bottom lip
shaking from frustration
would you believe me
if I couldn’t be happier
since daily death leads fresh
to daily rebirth
and nothing’s more precious
than that sound of life
that view of life
this taste of life
a smell of deception
foul to the touch
with acrid hints
designs a fate:
much greater, hollow
like within a cave
where the echo
resounds its wave
mindful of a gilded hue
rosy-themed and crackling
sharpened wit adorns my view
stands alone attacking
saddled, ridden, oh the ride
blinds me now to take my eyes
sit atop the highest fence
and toss me down our common cents
Finished: 3:32 p.m., Wednesday, December 12th, 2007. (c.p.t., t.b.a.; a few edits finished around 3:46 p.m., same day.).
I took solace in the tears the moon gave me
pretending they were for you
it was full tonight and I passed the site
the cruel arena
I couldn’t find a plan so I kept going
and wouldn’t you know? I slept
while my tears dried on my cheeks
while I stood there staring at the moon
yes, I slept,
everything reduced to numbness
all the passion and anger
slept tonight in my pain
reciting my own words and those of ____
just so I can swallow some air
I’ve been breathing dirt for days now
I can’t feel anymore but that’s okay
it’s better than feeling awake
would you settle near me and watch me
so when I choke there’s a reason
since the scene never plays itself out
if it makes any sense at all
may I be removed? I thought I saw a star
I’m sure I did in my eyes
and the long clouds dripping dip through the moon
I watch behind the dead tree
magnificent as the Seven’s and just as achingly cursed
spelling my letters as I read them
I couldn’t find the keys in the scramble
the door was wide open and I walked into it
beginning with my mind
and ending with my feet
I can’t cry for you
I used to be much better
can’t slow my eyes getting wetter
so let me cry for the moon
Finished: 6:20 a.m., Sunday, November 25th, 2007.
Copyright L.M. 2007.
say it ain’t so
break the silence
incomprehensible noise
years of pain
tell me something is wrong
but wise be the brain
and cruel
ironically heartless
justification of harmony
of evils and religion
perilous wait
a tumour of mindset
numbing an easiness
and making it senseless
getting there never works
I’m sent around
and around
a cycle of waiting:
of idiocy and ridicule,
incompetence and ignorance
shivers rise and fall
but rise more often now
and I wonder
where the clock will sit
when I finally find out
just what is wrong with me
Copyright L.M. 2006.
In the morning, I’m a very picky eater.
Whatever I eat usually can’t contain: milk, eggs, can’t be too sweet, can’t be too plain, can’t be acidic (no juices unless I’m having a bread product), and definitely can’t be sour. Usually if I eat something, it’s probably bad for me and isn’t exactly going to propel me through the day. 😛 Now you know why most days I skip eating in the mornings!
On the other hand, if I’ve managed to have something small after waking up, about an hour later I can eat any breakfast food. Except sour. I still dislike sour. haha.
Ironically, I love breakfast foods. Life can be cruel! 😉
“you don’t know me,
and you don’t even care”
breath is disappearing
somewhere deep inside of me
somewhere numb and bleeding
there’s a whole lung gone
I knew I couldn’t be wrong
and now I die inside
wondering wondering why
the birds are circling
they knew all along
a poor idiot like me
was sure to be a target
so spare me my excellence
spare me my time
just spare me
I liked it when I was young
innocence was fine
nothing expected of me
and I upstaged life
but when did the stage fall
when did I lose hope
when will I breathe again
please, let me breathe again
please let me be
me
Copyright L.M. 2007. (written a couple months ago, quote from Augustana’s song “Boston”. don’t worry, I know the poem isn’t good haha).
I have a system
and for that, I’m relieved
I’ll do my best
I’ll be a friend
worry not for me, no
I’ll be alright again soon
I’m glad I met you
yes for that, I’m grateful
we’re similar
your words ring true
back to before, now
and I’ll be alright again soon
it’s already better
and for that, I’m glad
I feared the worst
but you’re a friend
and when I pick myself up
dust myself off
and look back at you
I know before long
I’ll be alright again, soon
Copyright L.M. 2007. (Dedicated)
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