Conscious (April 2007)

I haven’t seen this before
shared among common fields
I could almost feel myself move
asleep on the ground, twice already
patience awoke me with presence
well I should say friends
and open faces showed me something
I can’t be alone too long
I miss the smile the most
having said what was right
I turn away not to see the consequence
since it’s not horrendous
I feel faint
and must lie down again

     

      

Copyright L.M. 2007.

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Skies of a Different Blue

The sky was really cool today.

I never quite know how the weather’s going to be when I get up, even if I check my Weather Network toolbar thingy on my computer, so it’s always a bit of a gamble in terms of coat choice this time of year.  I went with my brown Fall jacket, and was glad of it.  As soon as I opened the door I was greeted with a warm cool breeze (cool because it’s Fall and it’s expected to be a bit cool, and warm because it had an unexpected warmth still left in it).  Over the park trees and over the Queen’s buildings, I could see in the distance blue clouds.  That nice, rich Russian Blue Cat kinda blue.  The kind, had it been cold outside, you would have expected to be delivering snow.  Instead, the sun was shining, the wind fiesty, and it was a perfect beginning to the day.

I actually was slightly resenting the fact that I had class to attend, because I just felt like walking around listening to my music all day 🙂  I might still do that, for a bit at least.  I’ve had an overall pretty crummy past few days, though I shouldn’t complain as it’s probably mostly my own fault!  Haha, that’s life.  But nothing makes me feel better when I’m down than a good walk.  It makes me wonder about next year; if I move, I’ll have to think about that when deciding where to live…..

Yes, now I’m thinking about that, I definitely need to walk.  Definitely time to go down to the water: windy, sunny, cloudy, somewhat warm (season-considering), and some lifey stuff to think about……

Off I go….. 🙂

Fact

falling over myself in my dreams
reaching with my shoulders
and my arms can’t move

holding on to nothing strongly
patterning disgrace tile by tile
it’s alright, that’s the way I know

the shiver works its way down
sections snapping in protest
like the yelling in my head

I want to swing wildly
scream obscenities
run full-out crazy
buy me time, just buy me time

can I disappear for a while?
the waiting kills the cells
and the wound heals much quicker
after the fact, after the act
I’m wasting away here
twisting organs in confusion
there’s nothing to sustain me
until I know this torturous fact
.
.
.
.

Copyright L.M. 2007.