What Will Never Break

maybe I’m just greedy
I’m taking too long
maybe I am happy
and just didn’t know
maybe I’m not lying
I’m just waiting for the truth

tear it apart
you think that you can
tear it open
again and again
tear it apart
but it never will
break

maybe sleeping’d be good
I’d rather not know
maybe it’s something I should
try on my own
some night for a change
one horn won’t find me truth

tear it apart
you think that you can
tear it open
again and again
tear it apart
but it will never
break
no, it won’t ever break

pyraminds, waterfalls
katydids, overalls
pictures of the truth…..

tear it apart
you think that you can
tear it open
again and again
tear it apart
but it will never
break
no, it won’t ever break

        

        

Copyright L.M. 2008.  (written March 4th, 2008.).

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Day 3

Gorgeous day today.  It started off cloudy (my dad and I were going to go fishing but since it was cloudy, they decided to let me sleep in instead haha), but it was still fairly warm, and then the sun worked its way out and it became quite warm.  We went and did a few errands while it was still a bit overcast, and my mom and I played some tennis.  The sun came out during our 15 minutes (we’re both still coughing up a storm), so my mom decided it was too hot out for her and walked to the library to reserve the new Sue Grafton book.  (She later told me she was 123rd on the reserve list….. I’m not even kidding.)  So I went and hit against the wall…… man, it was relentless.  (joke courtesy of Mitch Hedberg 😉 )  I love hitting against the wall though.  I can serve and not have to go pick up balls for every minute of serving, if I make a mistake it still comes back to me….. it’s just a good practice tool.  I did that for a bit, then we went back to the condo for lunch.  I went for a long walk along the Pass, well, many trips back and forth anyway.  Then I visited Julio at his crêperie and chatted a bit with him.  He’s still the one making the crêpes….. I don’t know how he’s managed all year, unless there is someone else trained and they just weren’t working.  I have a feeling the guy with him helping him prepare the stuff may have been there last year too.  I’d normally wonder if they were related but by the pale (in comparison) looks of him, maybe not!  The crêpe — strawberries and Nutella — was wonderful.  I wandered the Pass eating it, and saw many eyes drawn to it — one hispanic lady asked me what it was and where to find one….. after I’d passed I heard her say, “I want one of those!”  So Julio, there you go, some more business for ya!  Last year it was the same story — we’d walk around eating them, and would usually get stopped at some point with inquiries….. especially if my parents were also having one, because they’d usually have one with whipped cream which of course makes it look even more sumptuous.  I even got to hear Julio singing a little as he prepared it….. quite the lungs, and not a bad singer either!  Elvis, of course 😉   After he’d finished making the crêpe, he thanked me for coming back and wished me a good trip if he didn’t see me before then, at one point calling me “princess” — which, from anyone else, might’ve been seen as strange or even sarcastic, but you just know he’s sincere.  He’s just the type of person who always makes you smile.    🙂

  After finishing my treat, I walked the beach for a bit, through the water one way, then on the water’s edge the way back.  Here’s my daily list:

• Maddy! and friend(?)
• fishermen
• fisherboys(?) with a net of little fishies they’d just caught, intending to use them as bait
• 2 whistling construction workers 😎
• again, not too many shells of interest (there haven’t been high winds lately, so that makes a difference)
• a few butterfly shells appearing to be occupied (thrown back)
• several sand fleas (dead)
• 1 large crab — live!  He was in my path, scuttling around….. man was he cute.  I walked cautiously closer, and I guess frightened him because he lifted one of his front claws a bit above his head, threateningly….. it was hilarious and adorable at the same time.  I love crabs.  Anyway, I didn’t want to scare him too much but at the same time I didn’t want him to wash ashore and die (he appeared to be old….. I am aware they can come out the water normally haha), or stay in the shallow water to attack/get attacked by little kids, so I tried to usher him back towards the deeper water, even though the waves made me lose sight of him and I had to avoid getting pinched, myself!  He was definitely the highlight of my beachwalk.
• 2 kids trying to bodyboard (again, waves <1 foot high…..)….. quite funny actually.
• seagulls, herons, egrets, pelicans, skimmers, the little tiny birds that run around the shore…..
• dolphins (well, that was when I was on the Pass — they were quite active today, almost jumping right out the water, splashing around playfully)….. actually I saw a few schools of them….. and moronic seadoers trying to get close and in the process frightening them away……  Seriously, let this be my one and only message to boaters: if you want to get close to dolphins or any sea creature for that matter, PLEASE turn off your engines!  If they want you around, they’ll swim TO you, you don’t have to be 5 feet away at all times.  Enjoy the scene, but don’t ruin it by scaring them or, Heaven forbid, hurting them.  Sure, you may have seen them following boats, but that’s up to them!  You certainly are not going to tempt them by having 5 boats speeding toward them every time they surface.  The people on the Pass enjoy seeing them too, so have a little respect for the other viewers, as well as the creatures themselves.  There.  I’m done.    😛
• not many jellyfish today, maybe 2 little guys washed up
• generally not much debris washed up either, actually….. good thing once in a while!
• 1 gorgeous sun  🙂

Medians

in the centre: brown against white
sharpened all alone
or dull, hovering trees
it’s everywhere
but especially here
no deer yet — but it’s early
and I’m nervous to see the signs
inciting fear without threats
wrought from insecurity
and instead of removing the dead skin
pries up a new layer
anxious to be discarded
but maybe I don’t really know
so alert I’ll stay, at my window
watching the white turn gray

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Castles (September 2006)

This poem was written last year, when my sister challenged me to write about Florida.  Castles, castles, in the sand…..  Anyway, hope you enjoy    🙂

      

Castles         

it isn’t silence
the sound of light winds
muffled by the white
soft underfoot
recently blessed by sun
sings to the water
tucking, buckling,
racing chariots of miniature waves
leaving treasures to be found
and closely examined
by little hands and feet
the passing curious
whose eyes stray easily
landing upon the pier
with the fishermen ready
dinner in mind
(or maybe pizza tonight)
looking from face to smiling face
everyone knows
everyone feels
it’s love at first breath
sound
touch
sight
and smell
cleansing salty air
performs a miracle
delivering its message of peace
infiltrating lungs with purity
seaweed and all
inciting song and dance for many
and adoration for all

  

    

Copyright L.M. 2006.  (yes, this is a repost, but if you didn’t want to download the .doc file you can now read it here.)

Stalemate

I have a sight
I thought somewhere near
takes me a while to
to…..
well I should have lost it
perhaps
maybe
somehow
did
inside it burns
and I shiver
you know it’s cold
so very cold

I’m not hopeless
just delusional
apparently
and to make up
for all the lost time
somehow started
to believe in fairytales
masochistic? probably
I’ve heard it heals
or bides time
with other distraction
sort of like me
I guess that’s ironic
but really, not hopeless
that’s part problem
you see why
it’s the hope that kills
if I were numb
oh to be numb
I would lose fear
I would lose pain
I would lose anger
I would lose love
well, you’ve taught me
you can’t win them all
in my year of luck
my precious months
a troubled match
a frightened soul
helped onto my plate
peppered with perfection
here and there
and when that bell begins
I will be a mistake
and another chapter
in a drama
whose clout extends
far beyond
the amusing present time

I’m sleepless
and you know why
and you won’t tell me

I’m walking the lines
with chains around my neck
ball bearings in my throat
and hands behind my back
and I say “I’m starved”
and you say you’re tired
but give me food
that I can’t eat, smell, see
and say it ought to be enough
but death takes its toll
bending all rules
portraying life as such
well you feel remorse
but upon the next
bestow a fresh nothing
ready to be devoured
and kill another
just like before me
me
and after me

I’m still sleepless
could you tell me why?

I did have a dream though
yes I had to wake you up
you transformed
into the jerk
and I couldn’t get you to leave
I awoke frightened
with the door open

do you realize
character and honesty
can both be judged
by ignoring words altogether
and looking
solely
on what you do

so in this pretend world
this fantasy of yours
some things bleed
into mine
and I try to see
subtract the you
subtract the me
to look right through
to reality
but look at me
I play the fool
I’m just the tool
to set you free
of memory
of any need
of honesty
responsibility
respectability
honour, value
worth, and truth
you see, all these
I could be for you
but that fantasy
well it bleeds too
into one which you
have saved for me
I still can’t sleep
and I blame you

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Open Mic Night

a night of hills
rounding o’er the surprises
at the almost intangible
we crashed
but would you look now
the sky separated
no more lenses
and look how it shines

sparkled eyes sending
flashes of truth and water
yet you stay
what a day
at the razor edge, slipped
but somehow fell up

how could you doubt
every same word
every same thought
every same hope
that I should see them too
presents your proof

I wanted to see through
the piercing eyes
the flicker I suspected
was maybe for show
mischief like a contact lay
across your iris, scratching thin
just enough to let you know
the trouble you were getting in

yes, I say so honestly
whether or not I should
but this eve you’ve proven
after everything, it’s still good

so all those hills we scrambled over
skating ice and slipping tripping
end up scorching the fruits
and giving something we can put to use

no more lenses, show the truth
look how you shine
and we will be fine
just show me all this hidden you

    

     

Finished: 6:03 a.m., Saturday, December 1st, 2007.

I still don’t want her near me….. except maybe to eavesdrop

Last night, just north of Princess St.: 

“Sweet!  I’ll never get an infection again!!”

Piña blüada

If you eat blueberries with pineapple, it tastes like piña colada.  Somehow the blueberries end up adding the coconut flavour?!

   

On second thought, maybe I’m just weird…..

     

No no — it really does taste piña colada-y!

   

Hmm, maybe I should turn my internal dialogue filter back on…..

Maybe he feels the Earth’s rotation…..

Later the same day of the asparagus man encounter, I went into a little shop because I had never been before.  There was a little boy and his mom behind the counter generally occupying themselves with papers and toys.  As I was passing them on my way out of the store, I heard the little boy ask:

“Mom, why is the ground moving?”

I think the funniest part was that I looked at the mother, who was nonchalantly answering his question (too quietly for me to hear), and her expression was completely unaffected, as if this was a normal type of question to be asked of a child standing on solid ground…..