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love
The Doc And Why We Shouldn’t Worry
Okay, calm down people.
Roy/Doc Halladay (why not just change his name for good?), starting pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, was reported yesterday as expressing frustration at his (our) team’s seeming inability to take advantage of situations this year, that could have propelled his (our) team to the top of the division.
Blah, blah, royal blah.
Seriously, who can blame him? I love my Jays, but we have had some pretty weak performances the past few years by players who should have stepped up to the plate, so to speak. Last year, we had injuries galore, and I don’t think much save a miracle season by several batters could have changed the end result, even if we had miracles seasons by several pitchers. This year, that can’t be blamed, and I guess that’s why Gibby and three other coaches were, instead. I might be risking some bashing for saying this, but I think it was the right decision, made too late. When J.P. saw Gibby wasn’t having the great success like had been hoped or even the little success that had been expected, that should’ve been the end right there. Getting new coaches lends a new light on things, and I think it’ll be good for the boys. Frankly, these men are TALENTED. They wouldn’t be here if they weren’t. So the fact that after so long, and so many chances, the wins are still few and far between, leads to the conclusion the problem is mostly mental.
My boys are smart. They just needed new direction. New inspiration. And the knowledge that if something isn’t working right, it’s gone. Shake things up, and you’ll see people with new reason to play hard every day. Plus, Cito’s apparently helping the team be more “accountable”, which, of course, is desperately needed by the fans. It’s not just frustrating for the players, after all. (Anyone remember the whole B.J. Ryan-is-fine fiasco last year?)
So back to my Doc. This is being played out on Sportsnet and in the news as some big revelation that Doc is unhappy with the Jays, might be looking at leaving, etc., etc……. but in any of the actual quotations in this story, Halladay doesn’t seem anything other than a player who is frustrated. He doesn’t love or even like to win; he HAS to win. So this reaction doesn’t come as a surprise. What would you expect him to say? That he’s happy we’re not winning? That he’s disappointed there haven’t been more injuries to blame the losses on? Come on, guys, stop trying to fabricate news. He’s upset he’s not winning, which is completely understandable, and I’m pretty sure it just ends there.
And I’m pretty sure he’s going to rock the second half of the season. I mean, SEVEN complete games, in the FIRST HALF.
Seriously folks, this guy got a line-drive to the temple, so what does he do in his next scheduled start? Pitches a shutout victory complete game.
Of course.
Because he’s the Doc.
Copyright L.M. 2008. (thanks to Globe and Mail, www.YouTube.com and www.bluejays.com, for references.).
Grenadine
you’ve seen it all before
from different lenses
and you’ve given up on love
one more time
can you see the pile of tinder
rising
can you feel the fire
at your feet
looking up, you
never fear the fall
lift your eyes back to the ground
beyond your stride
feel the pulse push deep inside
deep inside
can you jump the river
to the sea
can you carve the path that leads
back to me
looking up, you
don’t feel at all
coloured shades of greens
tearing at the seams
will it pull you apart again
grenadine
can you jump the buildings
to the hills
will you ever tire
of all the pills
coloured shades of greens
sweeter than it seems
will it pull you apart again
grenadine
coloured shades of greens
tearing at the seams
will it pull you apart love
grenadine
Copyright L.M. 2008. (written April 7th, 2008. sucky, I know. haha.).
When The Lights Go Out
on the rock that shimmers
a golden plate
set for someone
anyone
to take apart
piece by piece
I’m afraid that it won’t end
and your slate
wiped clean, erased
again
she’ll fall apart
piece by piece
the green died with the love
that you could never give
and can’t will back
in the jealous mind appears
a golden ring
made for no one
no one
it strangles
then rips you apart
piece by piece
speak when the lights go out
speak when the lights go out
speak
Copyright L.M. 2008.
Dry
crossing the field I’m feeling
to avoid the snow crust yielding
softly stepping
I can’t help but think
it’s like what you’ve been doing
deftly stepping
and in times like these, you know they say
you can’t always have things go your way
and so this I ask you:
do you want me to love you?
crossing the field I’m almost there
tiptoeing across this icy air
thinking of leaving
I can’t help but think
you’re already inside me
barely breathing
and in times like these, you know they say
you can’t always have things go your way
and so I must ask you:
do you want me to love you?
do you want me to still love you?
let me come home dry, love
let me come home dry
Copyright L.M. 2008.
Day 3
Gorgeous day today. It started off cloudy (my dad and I were going to go fishing but since it was cloudy, they decided to let me sleep in instead haha), but it was still fairly warm, and then the sun worked its way out and it became quite warm. We went and did a few errands while it was still a bit overcast, and my mom and I played some tennis. The sun came out during our 15 minutes (we’re both still coughing up a storm), so my mom decided it was too hot out for her and walked to the library to reserve the new Sue Grafton book. (She later told me she was 123rd on the reserve list….. I’m not even kidding.) So I went and hit against the wall…… man, it was relentless. (joke courtesy of Mitch Hedberg 😉 ) I love hitting against the wall though. I can serve and not have to go pick up balls for every minute of serving, if I make a mistake it still comes back to me….. it’s just a good practice tool. I did that for a bit, then we went back to the condo for lunch. I went for a long walk along the Pass, well, many trips back and forth anyway. Then I visited Julio at his crêperie and chatted a bit with him. He’s still the one making the crêpes….. I don’t know how he’s managed all year, unless there is someone else trained and they just weren’t working. I have a feeling the guy with him helping him prepare the stuff may have been there last year too. I’d normally wonder if they were related but by the pale (in comparison) looks of him, maybe not! The crêpe — strawberries and Nutella — was wonderful. I wandered the Pass eating it, and saw many eyes drawn to it — one hispanic lady asked me what it was and where to find one….. after I’d passed I heard her say, “I want one of those!” So Julio, there you go, some more business for ya! Last year it was the same story — we’d walk around eating them, and would usually get stopped at some point with inquiries….. especially if my parents were also having one, because they’d usually have one with whipped cream which of course makes it look even more sumptuous. I even got to hear Julio singing a little as he prepared it….. quite the lungs, and not a bad singer either! Elvis, of course 😉 After he’d finished making the crêpe, he thanked me for coming back and wished me a good trip if he didn’t see me before then, at one point calling me “princess” — which, from anyone else, might’ve been seen as strange or even sarcastic, but you just know he’s sincere. He’s just the type of person who always makes you smile. 🙂
After finishing my treat, I walked the beach for a bit, through the water one way, then on the water’s edge the way back. Here’s my daily list:
- Maddy! and friend(?)
- fishermen
- fisherboys(?) with a net of little fishies they’d just caught, intending to use them as bait
- 2 whistling construction workers 😎
- again, not too many shells of interest (there haven’t been high winds lately, so that makes a difference)
- a few butterfly shells appearing to be occupied (thrown back)
- several sand fleas (dead)
- 1 large crab — live! He was in my path, scuttling around….. man was he cute. I walked cautiously closer, and I guess frightened him because he lifted one of his front claws a bit above his head, threateningly….. it was hilarious and adorable at the same time. I love crabs. Anyway, I didn’t want to scare him too much but at the same time I didn’t want him to wash ashore and die (he appeared to be old….. I am aware they can come out the water normally haha), or stay in the shallow water to attack/get attacked by little kids, so I tried to usher him back towards the deeper water, even though the waves made me lose sight of him and I had to avoid getting pinched, myself! He was definitely the highlight of my beachwalk.
- 2 kids trying to bodyboard (again, waves <1 foot high…..)….. quite funny actually.
- seagulls, herons, egrets, pelicans, skimmers, the little tiny birds that run around the shore…..
- dolphins (well, that was when I was on the Pass — they were quite active today, almost jumping right out the water, splashing around playfully)….. actually I saw a few schools of them….. and moronic seadoers trying to get close and in the process frightening them away…… Seriously, let this be my one and only message to boaters: if you want to get close to dolphins or any sea creature for that matter, PLEASE turn off your engines! If they want you around, they’ll swim TO you, you don’t have to be 5 feet away at all times. Enjoy the scene, but don’t ruin it by scaring them or, Heaven forbid, hurting them. Sure, you may have seen them following boats, but that’s up to them! You certainly are not going to tempt them by having 5 boats speeding toward them every time they surface. The people on the Pass enjoy seeing them too, so have a little respect for the other viewers, as well as the creatures themselves. There. I’m done. 😛
- not many jellyfish today, maybe 2 little guys washed up
- generally not much debris washed up either, actually….. good thing once in a while!
- 1 gorgeous sun 🙂
Stalemate
I have a sight
I thought somewhere near
takes me a while to
to…..
well I should have lost it
perhaps
maybe
somehow
did
inside it burns
and I shiver
you know it’s cold
so very cold
I’m not hopeless
just delusional
apparently
and to make up
for all the lost time
somehow started
to believe in fairytales
masochistic? probably
I’ve heard it heals
or bides time
with other distraction
sort of like me
I guess that’s ironic
but really, not hopeless
that’s part problem
you see why
it’s the hope that kills
if I were numb
oh to be numb
I would lose fear
I would lose pain
I would lose anger
I would lose love
well, you’ve taught me
you can’t win them all
in my year of luck
my precious months
a troubled match
a frightened soul
helped onto my plate
peppered with perfection
here and there
and when that bell begins
I will be a mistake
and another chapter
in a drama
whose clout extends
far beyond
the amusing present time
I’m sleepless
and you know why
and you won’t tell me
I’m walking the lines
with chains around my neck
ball bearings in my throat
and hands behind my back
and I say “I’m starved”
and you say you’re tired
but give me food
that I can’t eat, smell, see
and say it ought to be enough
but death takes its toll
bending all rules
portraying life as such
well you feel remorse
but upon the next
bestow a fresh nothing
ready to be devoured
and kill another
just like before me
me
and after me
I’m still sleepless
could you tell me why?
I did have a dream though
yes I had to wake you up
you transformed
into the jerk
and I couldn’t get you to leave
I awoke frightened
with the door open
do you realize
character and honesty
can both be judged
by ignoring words altogether
and looking
solely
on what you do
so in this pretend world
this fantasy of yours
some things bleed
into mine
and I try to see
subtract the you
subtract the me
to look right through
to reality
but look at me
I play the fool
I’m just the tool
to set you free
of memory
of any need
of honesty
responsibility
respectability
honour, value
worth, and truth
you see, all these
I could be for you
but that fantasy
well it bleeds too
into one which you
have saved for me
I still can’t sleep
and I blame you
Copyright L.M. 2007.
The Tea Party Lyrics — “Soulbreaking”
The Tea Party
“Soulbreaking”
If fate holds a purpose
You feel fate will lend a hand
It saves face deserts you
It deals grace from underhand
And every time the past’s awakened
Every time your soul starts breaking
You can’t stand the distance
You can’t stand to not be afraid
You won’t show resistance
You can’t seem to run away
‘Cause every time the past’s awakened
Every time your soul starts breaking
In the face of the fire
You see angels conspire
Will they hear you desires
Will they stop your soulbreaking
Could they stop your soulbreaking
You won’t say you’re hurting
You still dream in the undertow
Just a safe place: a haven
Just a kind face just to overthrow
Every time the past’s awakened
Every time your soul starts breaking
In the face of the fire
You see angels conspire
Will they hear your desires
Will the stop your soulbreaking
Could they stop your soulbreaking
Will they stop your soulbreaking
Could they stop your soulbreaking
Please love
Every time the past’s awakened
Every time my soul starts breaking
My Spontaneous Field Trip
Today I went to Miller Hall’s geology museum, just for a visit. It’s been a while since I’ve been, and seeing as I pulled another all-nighter last night, it was raining, and the lights looked so inviting, I figured it was about time.
I started off by looking at the selection of rocks and minerals used in Geology class for first year engineers, which involved a little wistful reflection of those times so many years ago when we had to perform all the tests on the samples to determine their properties and later their names. I always have loved Geology, but I was going through so much during that time, I couldn’t even enjoy it then. 😦 I moved on to the end of the hall, where they had a few little samples of random rocks, and then I backtracked to my favourite part: the collection of meteorites. I had my music on high, and just immersed myself. It was wonderful. Peaceful. There’s also the additional effect it has on me, based on feelings I have toward nature (see the post directly below this for more info on that), so it was really a good mental break.
I then moved to the main room, where there appeared to be a class trip for some French-speaking kids, maybe grade 5 or so. I turned my music up and toured around, stopping at some of my favourites — the tall amethyst sliced-in-half-geode, galena, pyrite, azurite, the gorgeous chalcopyrite, molybdenum, smithsonite, sodalite, tourmaline, and of course all kinds of quartz….. and yes, I did just go to a random minerals site alphabetically 🙂 There were, of course, many others, but far be it from me to remember what they were. I’m always kind of surprised they don’t have (or maybe I just can’t find it) one of my favourites, lab-made bismuth. I had one once, and it disappeared somewhere, but it had what I just found out is called “hopper” qualities — where basically the mineral forms an empty cube without a top, and then stacks these box-like structures all over itself in really neat designs. It’s also got some iridescence going on, which is always pretty neat. Oh, and there was ulexite, which I love to look at because it has fiber-optic properties. Very cool.
I love just going to places like that randomly, it’s so inspirational and relaxing at the same time. It was also nice to see some of the children fascinated in the minerals, while the others ran around yelling. Haha, I guess it brought me back to my youth….. not a bad place to visit every once in a while….. 🙂
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