The Sweetest Geek Dedication Ever

I have used SpyBot software for many years.  I generally like the product, and it’s saved my computers from many problems.  But the one thing that’s always touched me was the dedication in the License Agreement:

I. Freeware
First of all, the reasons why Spybot-S&D is free:

I.a. Dedication
Spybot-S&D is dedicated to the most wonderful girl on earth 🙂

I.b. Binary
What do you get if you buy software? Lots of ones and zeros, nothing more. If they were distributed as art, I could understand paying it. But if the main goal of their order is to earn money – by fees or ads – I don’t like it!

I.c. Conclusion
This means that I grant you the license to use Spybot-S&D as much as you like. But if you like it, I ask two things of you: say a prayer for me (and the most wonderful girl while you’re at it 😉 ) to your god – or whatever you believe – and wish us some luck.

So kudos to them, and all the best 🙂

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The Doc And Why We Shouldn’t Worry

Okay, calm down people.

Roy/Doc Halladay (why not just change his name for good?), starting pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, was reported yesterday as expressing frustration at his (our) team’s seeming inability to take advantage of situations this year, that could have propelled his (our) team to the top of the division.

Blah, blah, royal blah.

Seriously, who can blame him?  I love my Jays, but we have had some pretty weak performances the past few years by players who should have stepped up to the plate, so to speak.  Last year, we had injuries galore, and I don’t think much save a miracle season by several batters could have changed the end result, even if we had miracles seasons by several pitchers.  This year, that can’t be blamed, and I guess that’s why Gibby and three other coaches were, instead.  I might be risking some bashing for saying this, but I think it was the right decision, made too late.  When J.P. saw Gibby wasn’t having the great success like had been hoped or even the little success that had been expected, that should’ve been the end right there.  Getting new coaches lends a new light on things, and I think it’ll be good for the boys.  Frankly, these men are TALENTED.  They wouldn’t be here if they weren’t.  So the fact that after so long, and so many chances, the wins are still few and far between, leads to the conclusion the problem is mostly mental.

My boys are smart.  They just needed new direction.  New inspiration.  And the knowledge that if something isn’t working right, it’s gone.  Shake things up, and you’ll see people with new reason to play hard every day.  Plus, Cito’s apparently helping the team be more “accountable”, which, of course, is desperately needed by the fans.  It’s not just frustrating for the players, after all.  (Anyone remember the whole B.J. Ryan-is-fine fiasco last year?)

So back to my Doc.  This is being played out on Sportsnet and in the news as some big revelation that Doc is unhappy with the Jays, might be looking at leaving, etc., etc……. but in any of the actual quotations in this story, Halladay doesn’t seem anything other than a player who is frustrated.  He doesn’t love or even like to win; he HAS to win.  So this reaction doesn’t come as a surprise.  What would you expect him to say?  That he’s happy we’re not winning?  That he’s disappointed there haven’t been more injuries to blame the losses on?  Come on, guys, stop trying to fabricate news.  He’s upset he’s not winning, which is completely understandable, and I’m pretty sure it just ends there.

And I’m pretty sure he’s going to rock the second half of the season.  I mean, SEVEN complete games, in the FIRST HALF.

Seriously folks, this guy got a line-drive to the temple, so what does he do in his next scheduled start?  Pitches a shutout victory complete game.

Of course.

Because he’s the Doc.

        

      

Copyright L.M. 2008.  (thanks to Globe and Mail, www.YouTube.com and www.bluejays.com, for references.).

Disentangled Deliverance

I heard it
hushed
rushed
like when the phone is dying
and I knew who
but I ignored it
just like you
earlier
afraid I would hear
I knew then, too
and I can’t look at you
not right after
for fear
I knew you’d see
my face gives me away
so if you don’t look at me
you’ll never see my pain
and we can carry on this way
because you chose it
how’d I have no say?
well, that’s the way of it
and every single day
I wait
and every single day
I cringe
I crawl
a little ball I am
and I try to ignore the fact
that I’m in love
and that I want to cry
and that I want to hit you
for hurting me
for not telling
for not thinking about it
just because you’re happy
doesn’t make it okay
for the rest of us
I want to collapse in your arms
and cry until my heart feels again
it isn’t easy keeping it cold
it isn’t easy being numb
but I know how you feel
and it would take just a minute
to realize
that there must be a problem
if you aren’t sure of love
you aren’t in love
it’s as simple as that
time won’t help you decide
trust me, I know, I tried
love isn’t comfort and trust
love isn’t passion and lust
love isn’t measured in time
and I know, love isn’t just
love is not wanting to leave
love is a mental reprieve
loving should not be a crime
for lovers are far too naïve
but the story here, far too sad
is in parallel
and I’ve played the role before
from a different seat
but it was just as bad
I can’t help you see
how you would have so much more
with one less
without you asking me
and even still
it seems so contrary
you probably wouldn’t
even believe me

but I’ve watched you
when you weren’t looking
and I don’t see a man in love
I don’t even see a man confused about love
I see a man confused and saddened
by the loss of a first
that was really good sometimes
and really hard
though that’s easier now to forget
since she’s allowing it
though she’s not aware
just how much you’re testing it
I’m the only other one
who knows what’s going on
and my heart is breaking for you
for me
watching your guilt
take a life of its own
and the longer you wait
the more it’ll have grown
when you finally decide
to tell her the truth

it’s selfish what you’re doing
I don’t want to sound mean
but you’re aware that you’re hurting
and destroying self-esteem
and you know what your instincts
are telling you to do
so if you won’t do this for me, or for her, babe
do this for you

       

       

Copyright L.M. 2008.

My Tiny Bag of Sand (February 2007)

under every pyramid
and bodies freshly tanned
finds the topic of my poem
it’s my tiny bag of sand

I can see it in my mind
like ideas newly planned
a little piece of Heaven
is my tiny bag of sand

people walk along the coastline
picking shells up in their hand
but they’ll never grasp the concept
of my tiny bag of sand

it’s my beauty, it’s my pleasure
it’s my way around the bland
it reminds me of a better day
my tiny bag of sand

   

      

Copyright L.M. 2007. (alternate end stanza:
it’s my beauty, it’s my pleasure
it’s my way around the bland
it reminds me of a better day
on vacation, far away
idolizing Hemingway
my tiny bag of sand )

Proximity

dusty
stinging burns the dry
pulling tight today
trying to set it up
and I look ridiculous
could you believe
it’s about time
she’s asking me
to make another appearance
shocking though it may be
it’s part of my defense now

a line upon my bottom lip
shaking from frustration
would you believe me
if I couldn’t be happier
since daily death leads fresh
to daily rebirth
and nothing’s more precious
than that sound of life
that view of life
this taste of life

a smell of deception
foul to the touch
with acrid hints
designs a fate:
much greater, hollow
like within a cave
where the echo
resounds its wave

mindful of a gilded hue
rosy-themed and crackling
sharpened wit adorns my view
stands alone attacking
saddled, ridden, oh the ride
blinds me now to take my eyes
sit atop the highest fence
and toss me down our common cents

Finished: 3:32 p.m., Wednesday, December 12th, 2007. (c.p.t., t.b.a.; a few edits finished around 3:46 p.m., same day.).

What the Night Brings

It occurs to me that not a lot of people pull all-nighters.  I find it, well, good I guess.  They’re sometimes enjoyable…… but they have their moments.  Like, tonight, I stayed up (well I’m still up), and was working (the not-so-fun kind of all-nighters), but I luckily caught up on my junk so that makes me feel good.  However, I had a few fun experiences with my body hating me.  Here are a couple things that may happen to you if you pull an all-nighter, and you shouldn’t be surprised if they do:

• shaking.  Just general shaking in different parts of your body.  Tonight it was my left hand.
• weird popping feeling in your eye.  I don’t know what this is.
• random numbness, usually from sitting at a computer for long periods of time banging my head against the desk.
• dehydration.  It’s easy to forget to drink when you can barely remember to open your eyes.  (Also comes in the opposite form, when you’re obsessively drinking something to try and keep yourself awake.)
• hunger from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.
• random activity cravings.  Like suddenly wanting to go swimming, even though you haven’t in months.
• random food cravings.  Like clam chowder.
• sudden understanding of your pet.  It’s like we’re at the same intelligence level…..
• sudden ability to clean.  You might not have been the best before, but you’re Industrial Strength now……
• sudden memory recovery…… of all the e-mails you haven’t yet replied to.  Don’t be alarmed if you feel this crucial to complete immediately.  It’s normal.
• chest pains.  Yep!  Just as fun as they sound!
• waking up when you didn’t know you were asleep.  The best is when you’re holding something like a hair dryer or book, because you freak out when you wake up and you freak out again as you drop something.  (Bonus: when you’re on the bus, and you wake up with a jolt, having flung your arms wildly, only to get strange looks from the people around you/people you hit)
• brain pains.  You know how diagrams show the different sections of your brain and what they’re used for?  Well you just exploded the Common Sense one.  Congratulations!  You’re now among the other 90% of the population.  😛

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, because I sure haven’t…… Umm, what am I talking about again?  I should go.  I think I have an e-mail to write.  It’s for my cat.