Stalemate

I have a sight
I thought somewhere near
takes me a while to
to…..
well I should have lost it
perhaps
maybe
somehow
did
inside it burns
and I shiver
you know it’s cold
so very cold

I’m not hopeless
just delusional
apparently
and to make up
for all the lost time
somehow started
to believe in fairytales
masochistic? probably
I’ve heard it heals
or bides time
with other distraction
sort of like me
I guess that’s ironic
but really, not hopeless
that’s part problem
you see why
it’s the hope that kills
if I were numb
oh to be numb
I would lose fear
I would lose pain
I would lose anger
I would lose love
well, you’ve taught me
you can’t win them all
in my year of luck
my precious months
a troubled match
a frightened soul
helped onto my plate
peppered with perfection
here and there
and when that bell begins
I will be a mistake
and another chapter
in a drama
whose clout extends
far beyond
the amusing present time

I’m sleepless
and you know why
and you won’t tell me

I’m walking the lines
with chains around my neck
ball bearings in my throat
and hands behind my back
and I say “I’m starved”
and you say you’re tired
but give me food
that I can’t eat, smell, see
and say it ought to be enough
but death takes its toll
bending all rules
portraying life as such
well you feel remorse
but upon the next
bestow a fresh nothing
ready to be devoured
and kill another
just like before me
me
and after me

I’m still sleepless
could you tell me why?

I did have a dream though
yes I had to wake you up
you transformed
into the jerk
and I couldn’t get you to leave
I awoke frightened
with the door open

do you realize
character and honesty
can both be judged
by ignoring words altogether
and looking
solely
on what you do

so in this pretend world
this fantasy of yours
some things bleed
into mine
and I try to see
subtract the you
subtract the me
to look right through
to reality
but look at me
I play the fool
I’m just the tool
to set you free
of memory
of any need
of honesty
responsibility
respectability
honour, value
worth, and truth
you see, all these
I could be for you
but that fantasy
well it bleeds too
into one which you
have saved for me
I still can’t sleep
and I blame you

Copyright L.M. 2007.

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Station

I couldn’t stretch it
it began furtively
the weasel of a creature
stitching disaster with a golden flare
dancing brushstrokes in the air
stepping lightly
flooding slow
a prick to welcome
boring deep within
each layer, each flaking level
it could be cruel
but I’m sure this isn’t new
I know the tracks
and paint the country with pleasure
still be the train, upon them all
useless and crumbling
but ever so mighty
bending light with each day
crowding this heaven-sent boundary
to a cradle beneath
somehow immersed in everything
so carbon me
make me realistic
drawn and painted and sung
compose me your morals
stand with posture perfect
gripping ledges
haphazard leaping
and suddenly —
you see it too

so change it all, and harbour no chain
abandon weight, for I can help you fly

   

      

Finished: 8:28 a.m., Wednesday, December 5th, 2007.

Tri-coloured discovery

I did not know tri-coloured tortilla chips were actually made from different kinds of corn.  Apparently, yellow, blue, and red corn is used to make them those colours.

I just thought they were dyed!  haha, learn something new every day…..

What the Night Brings

It occurs to me that not a lot of people pull all-nighters.  I find it, well, good I guess.  They’re sometimes enjoyable…… but they have their moments.  Like, tonight, I stayed up (well I’m still up), and was working (the not-so-fun kind of all-nighters), but I luckily caught up on my junk so that makes me feel good.  However, I had a few fun experiences with my body hating me.  Here are a couple things that may happen to you if you pull an all-nighter, and you shouldn’t be surprised if they do:

  • shaking.  Just general shaking in different parts of your body.  Tonight it was my left hand.
  • weird popping feeling in your eye.  I don’t know what this is.
  • random numbness, usually from sitting at a computer for long periods of time banging my head against the desk.
  • dehydration.  It’s easy to forget to drink when you can barely remember to open your eyes.  (Also comes in the opposite form, when you’re obsessively drinking something to try and keep yourself awake.)
  • hunger from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.
  • random activity cravings.  Like suddenly wanting to go swimming, even though you haven’t in months.
  • random food cravings.  Like clam chowder.
  • sudden understanding of your pet.  It’s like we’re at the same intelligence level…..
  • sudden ability to clean.  You might not have been the best before, but you’re Industrial Strength now……
  • sudden memory recovery…… of all the e-mails you haven’t yet replied to.  Don’t be alarmed if you feel this crucial to complete immediately.  It’s normal.
  • chest pains.  Yep!  Just as fun as they sound!
  • waking up when you didn’t know you were asleep.  The best is when you’re holding something like a hair dryer or book, because you freak out when you wake up and you freak out again as you drop something.  (Bonus: when you’re on the bus, and you wake up with a jolt, having flung your arms wildly, only to get strange looks from the people around you/people you hit)
  • brain pains.  You know how diagrams show the different sections of your brain and what they’re used for?  Well you just exploded the Common Sense one.  Congratulations!  You’re now among the other 90% of the population.  😛

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, because I sure haven’t…… Umm, what am I talking about again?  I should go.  I think I have an e-mail to write.  It’s for my cat.

I skip it cuz I love it so

In the morning, I’m a very picky eater.

Whatever I eat usually can’t contain: milk, eggs, can’t be too sweet, can’t be too plain, can’t be acidic (no juices unless I’m having a bread product), and definitely can’t be sour.  Usually if I eat something, it’s probably bad for me and isn’t exactly going to propel me through the day.  😛   Now you know why most days I skip eating in the mornings!

On the other hand, if I’ve managed to have something small after waking up, about an hour later I can eat any breakfast food.  Except sour.  I still dislike sour.  haha.

Ironically, I love breakfast foods.  Life can be cruel!  😉

Timeless

under skin
you can feel
a heart beating fast
time slows and
you get a glimpse
of the glory behind
those angel eyes

someone said that
beauty fades
but you know it
just grows with age

catching leaves
as they fall
the sky is turning blue

give her a reason
to feel everywhere’s home
bring her hand to your lips
tell her there’s no other kiss
tell her there’s nothing more than this
your everlasting home

you love her, yeah
you breathe her
you want no more than
to be with her

one for marriage
two for birth
and every laugh line since
has been earned
you still love her yeah
you still breathe her
let her know you
that you, that you still need her

catching leaves
as they fall
the sky is turning blue
and if she asks you
if she’s still the one
you’ve one job left to do

give her a reason
to feel everywhere’s home
bring her hand to your lips
tell her there’s no other kiss
tell her there’s nothing more than this
your everlasting home
your everlasting home

       

      

Copyright L.M. 2007. (written a few months ago with the others…… yes, I know, cheesy.  I don’t show this romantic side of me often for a reason!  haha).