You Stay

reaching for the crown
but the glass has cracked
and the leaves fall down
tryin’ to reach the fruit
but the birds have come
or they’re spoiled with worms
and when you lift your arms
you feel the bones
grate inside
when you lift the blue
your stomach turns
become aware

run away
she tells you to run away
she tells you to run away
and you stay

it’s mis’rable you know
but you turn your eyes
back to your mind
every road that’s paved
you deny

go back to the trees
that you can hear
whisper back
sleeping on the needles
and the pine cones
scratch your back

if you run away
when you need to
run away
if you run away
don’t come back

         

       

Copyright L.M. 2008.  (written May 17th, 2008.).

Conscious (April 2007)

I haven’t seen this before
shared among common fields
I could almost feel myself move
asleep on the ground, twice already
patience awoke me with presence
well I should say friends
and open faces showed me something
I can’t be alone too long
I miss the smile the most
having said what was right
I turn away not to see the consequence
since it’s not horrendous
I feel faint
and must lie down again

     

      

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Moon Dog Numb

I took solace in the tears the moon gave me
pretending they were for you
it was full tonight and I passed the site
the cruel arena
I couldn’t find a plan so I kept going
and wouldn’t you know? I slept
while my tears dried on my cheeks
while I stood there staring at the moon
yes, I slept,
everything reduced to numbness
all the passion and anger
slept tonight in my pain
reciting my own words and those of ____
just so I can swallow some air
I’ve been breathing dirt for days now
I can’t feel anymore but that’s okay
it’s better than feeling awake
would you settle near me and watch me
so when I choke there’s a reason
since the scene never plays itself out
if it makes any sense at all

may I be removed? I thought I saw a star
I’m sure I did in my eyes
and the long clouds dripping dip through the moon
I watch behind the dead tree
magnificent as the Seven’s and just as achingly cursed

spelling my letters as I read them
I couldn’t find the keys in the scramble
the door was wide open and I walked into it
beginning with my mind
and ending with my feet

I can’t cry for you
I used to be much better
can’t slow my eyes getting wetter
so let me cry for the moon

Finished: 6:20 a.m., Sunday, November 25th, 2007.
Copyright L.M. 2007.

Gold Firings

in the nighttime
when you’re standing by my door
will you look up
and see me falling still
when you say my name
I could pull back one more time
but your eyes are far
from mine

in the starlight
she seems so far away
in the parklight
I never feel alone
but when you’re gone
it’s me who’s disappeared
could you ever let me be
a fear

it softens you with time
singing along with me
till I feel no shame
in believing
you impress me, love
with everything inside
still I feel this pain
in believing

       

       

Copyright L.M. 2007.  (side note: I don’t usually like using the word “love” as an appellation, for many reasons, but here I just couldn’t think of anything that flowed as well, so…..).

What the Night Brings

It occurs to me that not a lot of people pull all-nighters.  I find it, well, good I guess.  They’re sometimes enjoyable…… but they have their moments.  Like, tonight, I stayed up (well I’m still up), and was working (the not-so-fun kind of all-nighters), but I luckily caught up on my junk so that makes me feel good.  However, I had a few fun experiences with my body hating me.  Here are a couple things that may happen to you if you pull an all-nighter, and you shouldn’t be surprised if they do:

  • shaking.  Just general shaking in different parts of your body.  Tonight it was my left hand.
  • weird popping feeling in your eye.  I don’t know what this is.
  • random numbness, usually from sitting at a computer for long periods of time banging my head against the desk.
  • dehydration.  It’s easy to forget to drink when you can barely remember to open your eyes.  (Also comes in the opposite form, when you’re obsessively drinking something to try and keep yourself awake.)
  • hunger from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.
  • random activity cravings.  Like suddenly wanting to go swimming, even though you haven’t in months.
  • random food cravings.  Like clam chowder.
  • sudden understanding of your pet.  It’s like we’re at the same intelligence level…..
  • sudden ability to clean.  You might not have been the best before, but you’re Industrial Strength now……
  • sudden memory recovery…… of all the e-mails you haven’t yet replied to.  Don’t be alarmed if you feel this crucial to complete immediately.  It’s normal.
  • chest pains.  Yep!  Just as fun as they sound!
  • waking up when you didn’t know you were asleep.  The best is when you’re holding something like a hair dryer or book, because you freak out when you wake up and you freak out again as you drop something.  (Bonus: when you’re on the bus, and you wake up with a jolt, having flung your arms wildly, only to get strange looks from the people around you/people you hit)
  • brain pains.  You know how diagrams show the different sections of your brain and what they’re used for?  Well you just exploded the Common Sense one.  Congratulations!  You’re now among the other 90% of the population.  😛

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, because I sure haven’t…… Umm, what am I talking about again?  I should go.  I think I have an e-mail to write.  It’s for my cat.

Maple

on the underside of a leaf
it was written like a picture
slow, delicate, strokes
finding a lost path along each vein
and I read it aloud
listening to each line
tracing it in my mind
letting the song begin

and did I save you? I’m sorry
if the life crossed over
shining within you so bright
with the scent of new rain
it’s almost too much to feel
you let me breathe tonight

    

      

Copyright L.M. 2007.