Out-of-Body Experience, or Just a Dream?

Maybe my newfound psychologist friends will understand this better than me, but I seem to often have what I can only describe as out-of-body experiences. 

Promenade

still enamored by a dream
a silly, softened, stitchless seam
a carbonated, senseless laugh
an embarrassingly shameless gaffe
the one dynamic sits unpaid
the one fear leaves me unafraid
the single most endearing act
and priceless crime must you attract
a signal-laden field of mines
a fork with fused and broken tines
a walk down new and foreign lanes
or through solemn, bleak champaigns
decisions made, though left unclear
still run the ship straight through the pier
but dreamers dream a softer flight
when they flee, giggling in the night
down streets that brilliantly shine
so luminous and so devine
and so the portion gently laid
my point, I daresay, has been made

       

         

Copyright L.M. 2008.  (written March 3rd, 2008.).

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Mean Reds

it’s a scary place
this red room
where I lay
burying my face

it wasn’t new though
this red room
never sure when
I’d be there, true

some they run away
some they hide
some they take it all
take it all in stride
some they pamper
some they fear
some they take it all
and bring it here
to this red room
this red room
I’ll come back soon

    

      

Copyright L.M. 2008.  Finished: Tuesday, February 12th, 2008. (obvious acknowledgements to the song “Your Blue Room” by U2, and the title is from the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”.).

Alternative

eyes cast downward
you’ll never see the sky
how can you fly
with a fear of heights?
perennial heartbreak
won’t make you stronger
what doesn’t kill you just
makes life seem longer
painting pictures with your tears
you know it doesn’t have to be like this
write it
sing it
try just to be it
you’re only lost in your mind
you will be fine

      

      

Copyright L.M. 2008.

Milestone (April 2007)

it helps a lot
to know he’s there
not just waiting
but feeling with me
he’s scented
fresh
exhilarated
but sadly
he is not free
I’ve waited, myself
for fear or flee
I’ve taken him
inside of me
but nothing’s left
but shards of glass
marking the point
I’ve yet to pass
and this waiting’s
got the best of me

    

     

Copyright L.M. 2007.  (written for a best friend).

Stalemate

I have a sight
I thought somewhere near
takes me a while to
to…..
well I should have lost it
perhaps
maybe
somehow
did
inside it burns
and I shiver
you know it’s cold
so very cold

I’m not hopeless
just delusional
apparently
and to make up
for all the lost time
somehow started
to believe in fairytales
masochistic? probably
I’ve heard it heals
or bides time
with other distraction
sort of like me
I guess that’s ironic
but really, not hopeless
that’s part problem
you see why
it’s the hope that kills
if I were numb
oh to be numb
I would lose fear
I would lose pain
I would lose anger
I would lose love
well, you’ve taught me
you can’t win them all
in my year of luck
my precious months
a troubled match
a frightened soul
helped onto my plate
peppered with perfection
here and there
and when that bell begins
I will be a mistake
and another chapter
in a drama
whose clout extends
far beyond
the amusing present time

I’m sleepless
and you know why
and you won’t tell me

I’m walking the lines
with chains around my neck
ball bearings in my throat
and hands behind my back
and I say “I’m starved”
and you say you’re tired
but give me food
that I can’t eat, smell, see
and say it ought to be enough
but death takes its toll
bending all rules
portraying life as such
well you feel remorse
but upon the next
bestow a fresh nothing
ready to be devoured
and kill another
just like before me
me
and after me

I’m still sleepless
could you tell me why?

I did have a dream though
yes I had to wake you up
you transformed
into the jerk
and I couldn’t get you to leave
I awoke frightened
with the door open

do you realize
character and honesty
can both be judged
by ignoring words altogether
and looking
solely
on what you do

so in this pretend world
this fantasy of yours
some things bleed
into mine
and I try to see
subtract the you
subtract the me
to look right through
to reality
but look at me
I play the fool
I’m just the tool
to set you free
of memory
of any need
of honesty
responsibility
respectability
honour, value
worth, and truth
you see, all these
I could be for you
but that fantasy
well it bleeds too
into one which you
have saved for me
I still can’t sleep
and I blame you

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Gold Firings

in the nighttime
when you’re standing by my door
will you look up
and see me falling still
when you say my name
I could pull back one more time
but your eyes are far
from mine

in the starlight
she seems so far away
in the parklight
I never feel alone
but when you’re gone
it’s me who’s disappeared
could you ever let me be
a fear

it softens you with time
singing along with me
till I feel no shame
in believing
you impress me, love
with everything inside
still I feel this pain
in believing

       

       

Copyright L.M. 2007.  (side note: I don’t usually like using the word “love” as an appellation, for many reasons, but here I just couldn’t think of anything that flowed as well, so…..).

Long Jump

how did I fall to this?
his spectrum wild and crazed
fortunate son of passion
living each breath fully
it invited me
like a warm bath
or triangle sheets
begging me to enter
and see just how lovely,
how comfort can be

underneath something was ill
someone broken, something still
intentions run aground on
the wrong shore, turn around

red ground company
and he silenced me with fear
but the slant of disease
gave it light, and now
I cannot be afraid
since between the sheets
slivered like a coward
I saw the hideous head of dishonour

underneath something was ill
someone broken, something still
intentions run aground
you’re on the wrong shore, turn around

    

       

Copyright L.M. 2007.

Hanging On (2005)

I cannot say I’m pleased
repetition is, however, foreseeable
and I did not foresee
a failure on my part for feeling
the rudimentary error of my species
a mistake Mother Nature corrected with the others
and hoping
a moronic faux-pas in this century
if I collapse, you’ll understand
for I’ve forgotten what is new
and I’ll remember the old
all over again so it is once more fresh and disturbed

tiny speckled thoughts of random
tear me away into bliss
but sharp jabs in my side remind me
such cringing should be my guest
it heralds not impossibility
and speaks with the ancient eyes
so why do I feel so lost and helpless
when my stage continues to grow
and my crowd fights it out amongst themselves
this mantle is silent but near implosion
with albums of fear and hatred and ignorance
weighing down on the chance for sustainment
but bricks are strong
and though the weight is mighty
it keeps me afloat somehow
my worries only feelings
those rancid add-ons to our faulty line

Copyright L.M. 2007.