Yay, I’m excited. Today at 3:40, I’ll be going for my birthday massage 🙂
My birthday was a month ago, but it’s really been the first time I’ve had time during the week to use it. It’ll be a nice treat for sure.
It’s weird weather again today, like it’s Fall already. Clouds come and you actually shiver a bit. You avoid walking in the shade. Guhh, winter’s coming. I’ll try to enjoy Fall first though.
far below me lies
a river too deep to swim
it snakes all around me
and beckons me in
I reach for the branches
but, snapping, they fall too
and suddenly I realize
that I’m flying for you
the rapids, they squeeze me
and siphon my strength
the bitter chill of the water
testing my faith
somehow the branches
they keep me from death
and give me a chance at
a new kind of breath
Copyright L.M. 2007. (written in West Virginia on way to Florida.).
say it ain’t so
break the silence
incomprehensible noise
years of pain
tell me something is wrong
but wise be the brain
and cruel
ironically heartless
justification of harmony
of evils and religion
perilous wait
a tumour of mindset
numbing an easiness
and making it senseless
getting there never works
I’m sent around
and around
a cycle of waiting:
of idiocy and ridicule,
incompetence and ignorance
shivers rise and fall
but rise more often now
and I wonder
where the clock will sit
when I finally find out
just what is wrong with me
Copyright L.M. 2006.
it’s sometimes pleasant, you know
cutting my heart open with letters
signalled from God? Fate? me?
I tear away at words
and that they hate is good
because it concerns them all
and fortune will fall into the lap
of those who understand it
so sleep away
nestled amongst stars
sought for by none, but wanted
and a step along tells me
that I have indeed come aways
so that I am tired should not surprise
a lull should be enough
clustered into a mimosa
is all I am
and, I’m afraid, all I’ll ever be
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Copyright L.M. 2007. (written a few months ago as well as the next few I’m posting).
I want you to know
every one of you
that I don’t cry for you
I don’t weep
I’m not heartbroken
for nothing can break
through stone
ups and downs
everyday drama
it’s not my thing
I’d rather hide in the forest
and wait for you to find me
as it is, I look for you
outside my door
exiting my life
and wonder if you’ll be back
because I never know for sure
where did I get these thoughts?
did Einstein suffer depression?
I suppose he must have
thoughts like that from me
have pricked the plume anew
though I like the solitary company
I bend
far too much
so much so
that I don’t know
within myself
where I search
and daily toss
the dye that bleeds me
I know where we stand
each and every single one of us
and I will continue to try
to rationalize
and objectify
myself in my mind
just for you
I soared into storm clouds
higher than life
I cannot blame the messenger
but yet I can’t help
feeling tossed
like stale bread
soaking up any hint of warmth
to postpone the brittle battle
I will play by your rules
I will chisel a path
as long as you still try
and as long as I don’t fall
but I should let you know
I don’t feel your respect
not today, nor yesterday
not in the slightest
don’t you see?
I’m the doll
the smiling face which you do greet
with open arms and fleeing feet
sighing, wishing for a day
with ladders finally tossed away
so I may sit alongside you
with worries none, and fears few
the palm I’m in is over-filled
and not exactly what I willed
but choices few, this chiselled stone
is all I have to call my own
Copyright L.M. 2007. (written a couple months ago, and again I recognize the poem isn’t very good haha).
“you don’t know me,
and you don’t even care”
breath is disappearing
somewhere deep inside of me
somewhere numb and bleeding
there’s a whole lung gone
I knew I couldn’t be wrong
and now I die inside
wondering wondering why
the birds are circling
they knew all along
a poor idiot like me
was sure to be a target
so spare me my excellence
spare me my time
just spare me
I liked it when I was young
innocence was fine
nothing expected of me
and I upstaged life
but when did the stage fall
when did I lose hope
when will I breathe again
please, let me breathe again
please let me be
me
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Copyright L.M. 2007. (written a couple months ago, quote from Augustana’s song “Boston”. don’t worry, I know the poem isn’t good haha).
how did I fall to this?
his spectrum wild and crazed
fortunate son of passion
living each breath fully
it invited me
like a warm bath
or triangle sheets
begging me to enter
and see just how lovely,
how comfort can be
underneath something was ill
someone broken, something still
intentions run aground on
the wrong shore, turn around
red ground company
and he silenced me with fear
but the slant of disease
gave it light, and now
I cannot be afraid
since between the sheets
slivered like a coward
I saw the hideous head of dishonour
underneath something was ill
someone broken, something still
intentions run aground
you’re on the wrong shore, turn around
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Copyright L.M. 2007.
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