I’m writing this little message exclusively to express my own political affiliations.  First of all, I’m Canadian.  I don’t always agree with what goes on in politics in my country, so I don’t like supporting one party over another.  I have my own set of beliefs and for each issue, I have my own opinion as to the manner in which it should be dealt.  Generally, I’m a “live and let live” kinda person, but believe there should be guidelines and rules should be enforced.  Well, I guess I just got right into it just now, didn’t I?  😯

Anyway, I wanted to write this because I don’t like people advertising their campaign on the site I pay for unless I actually endorse them.  I like Obama, so I’m going to tag his name and hopefully if anyone’s campaign ad comes up for you my dear readers, it’ll be his.  If you have to be bombarded by ads/propaganda, I encourage you to do your own research from both angles (a lot of information is biased, so do your best to look through that), and make your own decision without allowing yourself to be swayed by the media.  I happen to favour Obama, but I sincerely hope that fact doesn’t mean anything to you.

By the way, to anyone involved in the opposing campaign, you might want to hire me.  “policyfrom” is actually two words.  A good sign of intelligence is attention to detail….. just a thought 🙂

Valentine’s Day

The response I received for posting my friend Theresa’s note yesterday took me by surprise. I had people asking if I was alright, others giving me words to inspire her with, and still others telling me how they felt about what had been written. While I think part of the response was due to Theresa’s poignant and sometimes blunt writing style in the note, I also think a large number of people can relate to what she actually said.

Relationships are clearly more complicated than finding someone you enjoy spending time with. Everything from a person’s family to a person’s dating history play a role in determining the outcome of future relationships, and with so many years of amassing ‘factors’, things can get complicated very quickly.

I think the most important thing to keep in mind when dealing with people who have ‘interesting’ histories, is how you feel when you’re with them. If you’re constantly thinking about his/her past, it obviously won’t turn out well for you even if they were to tell you that you’re “the one”. You’ll always have doubts, and rightfully so. I have never known anyone who had loose morals suddenly transform into a monogamous partner. I have, however, known people to stick to morals because they believe it is the ‘right thing to do’. I, personally, think that reason is insufficient. Let me tell you why.

Let’s say the moral is being faithful. That’s probably the most common moral discrepancy attributed to break-ups, and so an easy one to analyze.

Let’s say your significant other was in a situation where they might have cheated on you, but didn’t. This is good. Let’s say when they explained it to you, their reason for not cheating on you was “it would have been morally wrong.” This is still good. Let’s say you’re a nitpicker and asked why they felt this way. “Because society says one should not engage in relations outside of one’s own romantic relationship.” Hardly a pleasing answer. You’d want them to say “Because I wouldn’t want to hurt you” or “Because I wasn’t interested in them” or “Because you’re the most amazing person in the world, I’ll never find anyone better!” or some such sappy response. 😉

Society has morals for a reason. But it’s important to not adopt these as our own simply because society has set them. After all, at one time, it was morally acceptable for a husband to beat his wife under certain circumstances. And let’s not forget society’s views on slavery not even a full century ago. Society has been known to make poor decisions. (Incidentally, so do sheep.)

Make your own decisions. If you want to act a certain way, and you believe it’s morally acceptable, go for it. If those around you think you’re being immoral, find out why. The key is not to be so set in any one opinion that you are not open to new ideas, but to be flexible and take into consideration opposing views. If you still reject them, that will help you clarify your own thoughts so you can eventually be comfortable with yourself and how you act.

What I don’t understand is when smart people are inconsistent. Maybe they haven’t yet figured out how to be at one with themselves and be comfortable with their actions. Maybe they haven’t given thought to the moral repercussions of their inconsistencies.

The problem, as I see it, is not the person has poor morals and sticks to them. They have the potential to realize others may be affected, and to adjust their morals accordingly. They have the potential to mature, morally.

The problem is the person who proclaims a moral, either because society deems it so or because they have thought it out, and then breaks it. Once, twice, or repeatedly — it doesn’t matter. The idea that morality in a person can be swayed is highly disturbing to me. I would much rather the person admit to holding a somewhat ‘lesser’ moral stance as society might see it, than have them break consistency within themselves!

….. because breaking consistency within yourself breeds regret. And if you know me, you know I hate very little in life — but I hate regret. Regret means you’re embarrassed of yourself. Regret, to me, means more than making a mistake; it means falling beneath yourself, disgracing yourself with your actions or inactions. That’s why I consider it so important to live for the moment, as cheesy and cliché as it might be. At least if you try, you won’t hate yourself for not taking the chance. Anyway, I digress.

I think the worst thing in relationships is not rejection, but retrogression due to regret. There’s nothing that will humble you more than having the person you love insinuate you’re simply not good enough. This is my scar, and the deepest I’ve ever been cut to be honest. It doesn’t mean life sucks, or that I’m going to lose hope. I’m grateful to know my previous jaded attitude toward relationships was unfounded, and that my expectations for someone who met all my needs and hopes weren’t that unrealistic. And I’m grateful for the friend soul-mate I know he is. I just hope the next one who meets those hopes of mine will love me back.

That’s my story folks, and why I posted Theresa’s note.  Happy Valentine’s Day, to lovers and singles and strugglers alike!

Wishes and What I Couldn’t Say

I want you to take charge
I want to be held
I want so much more than I could ever ask of you
I want to be more
for you, with you
I want to be the best
and the only one worthy
I want to listen
I want to be heard
I want to know there’s so much more within
than without
I want to be there
for you to know that
I want this picture to be constantly
I want to fear perfection
and watch as it mingles between us
knowing it could never be destroyed
and take comfort in its persistence
because eternity is long
and I’ve only got one life
and within that, not even a full trip around the Sun
so you can see why my thoughts
revolve so frequently
and why I let myself become a stepping stone
because in order to live
you must take chances
and in order to live well
you must take risks
the timing is the cruelest joke of all
soon I will not have anything
and a new friend will confuse you
and the cycle will continue
until you stop to think
a woman can’t be everything to you
if she doesn’t even cross your mind
and if she chose someone new
of course you’d feel pain
because that knowledge someone out there loves you
would be gone
and you’d want her back again

anything can be good in small doses
but they only give you small views
make you forget all frustrations
all numbed feelings
all realizations
and mask all the truths
you suffered so much to conclude

it will happen again
and again
until she becomes wiser
or until you forget her
or until you respect her
enough to be fair to her

so what should I do?
I’ll hang my heart
suspended in the limbo
I’ve been in since the start
all things predicted this
I didn’t want serious
I knew you were scandalous
friend soul mates on top of it
so the composition was writ
exactly as Fate intended
what fools we are to think
we could ever have had a say in it



Copyright L.M. 2008.  (from Jan. 3rd.).

Day 3

Gorgeous day today.  It started off cloudy (my dad and I were going to go fishing but since it was cloudy, they decided to let me sleep in instead haha), but it was still fairly warm, and then the sun worked its way out and it became quite warm.  We went and did a few errands while it was still a bit overcast, and my mom and I played some tennis.  The sun came out during our 15 minutes (we’re both still coughing up a storm), so my mom decided it was too hot out for her and walked to the library to reserve the new Sue Grafton book.  (She later told me she was 123rd on the reserve list….. I’m not even kidding.)  So I went and hit against the wall…… man, it was relentless.  (joke courtesy of Mitch Hedberg 😉 )  I love hitting against the wall though.  I can serve and not have to go pick up balls for every minute of serving, if I make a mistake it still comes back to me….. it’s just a good practice tool.  I did that for a bit, then we went back to the condo for lunch.  I went for a long walk along the Pass, well, many trips back and forth anyway.  Then I visited Julio at his crêperie and chatted a bit with him.  He’s still the one making the crêpes….. I don’t know how he’s managed all year, unless there is someone else trained and they just weren’t working.  I have a feeling the guy with him helping him prepare the stuff may have been there last year too.  I’d normally wonder if they were related but by the pale (in comparison) looks of him, maybe not!  The crêpe — strawberries and Nutella — was wonderful.  I wandered the Pass eating it, and saw many eyes drawn to it — one hispanic lady asked me what it was and where to find one….. after I’d passed I heard her say, “I want one of those!”  So Julio, there you go, some more business for ya!  Last year it was the same story — we’d walk around eating them, and would usually get stopped at some point with inquiries….. especially if my parents were also having one, because they’d usually have one with whipped cream which of course makes it look even more sumptuous.  I even got to hear Julio singing a little as he prepared it….. quite the lungs, and not a bad singer either!  Elvis, of course 😉   After he’d finished making the crêpe, he thanked me for coming back and wished me a good trip if he didn’t see me before then, at one point calling me “princess” — which, from anyone else, might’ve been seen as strange or even sarcastic, but you just know he’s sincere.  He’s just the type of person who always makes you smile.    🙂

  After finishing my treat, I walked the beach for a bit, through the water one way, then on the water’s edge the way back.  Here’s my daily list:

  • Maddy! and friend(?)
  • fishermen
  • fisherboys(?) with a net of little fishies they’d just caught, intending to use them as bait
  • 2 whistling construction workers 😎
  • again, not too many shells of interest (there haven’t been high winds lately, so that makes a difference)
  • a few butterfly shells appearing to be occupied (thrown back)
  • several sand fleas (dead)
  • 1 large crab — live!  He was in my path, scuttling around….. man was he cute.  I walked cautiously closer, and I guess frightened him because he lifted one of his front claws a bit above his head, threateningly….. it was hilarious and adorable at the same time.  I love crabs.  Anyway, I didn’t want to scare him too much but at the same time I didn’t want him to wash ashore and die (he appeared to be old….. I am aware they can come out the water normally haha), or stay in the shallow water to attack/get attacked by little kids, so I tried to usher him back towards the deeper water, even though the waves made me lose sight of him and I had to avoid getting pinched, myself!  He was definitely the highlight of my beachwalk.
  • 2 kids trying to bodyboard (again, waves <1 foot high…..)….. quite funny actually.
  • seagulls, herons, egrets, pelicans, skimmers, the little tiny birds that run around the shore…..
  • dolphins (well, that was when I was on the Pass — they were quite active today, almost jumping right out the water, splashing around playfully)….. actually I saw a few schools of them….. and moronic seadoers trying to get close and in the process frightening them away……  Seriously, let this be my one and only message to boaters: if you want to get close to dolphins or any sea creature for that matter, PLEASE turn off your engines!  If they want you around, they’ll swim TO you, you don’t have to be 5 feet away at all times.  Enjoy the scene, but don’t ruin it by scaring them or, Heaven forbid, hurting them.  Sure, you may have seen them following boats, but that’s up to them!  You certainly are not going to tempt them by having 5 boats speeding toward them every time they surface.  The people on the Pass enjoy seeing them too, so have a little respect for the other viewers, as well as the creatures themselves.  There.  I’m done.    😛
  • not many jellyfish today, maybe 2 little guys washed up
  • generally not much debris washed up either, actually….. good thing once in a while!
  • 1 gorgeous sun  🙂

What the Night Brings

It occurs to me that not a lot of people pull all-nighters.  I find it, well, good I guess.  They’re sometimes enjoyable…… but they have their moments.  Like, tonight, I stayed up (well I’m still up), and was working (the not-so-fun kind of all-nighters), but I luckily caught up on my junk so that makes me feel good.  However, I had a few fun experiences with my body hating me.  Here are a couple things that may happen to you if you pull an all-nighter, and you shouldn’t be surprised if they do:

  • shaking.  Just general shaking in different parts of your body.  Tonight it was my left hand.
  • weird popping feeling in your eye.  I don’t know what this is.
  • random numbness, usually from sitting at a computer for long periods of time banging my head against the desk.
  • dehydration.  It’s easy to forget to drink when you can barely remember to open your eyes.  (Also comes in the opposite form, when you’re obsessively drinking something to try and keep yourself awake.)
  • hunger from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.
  • random activity cravings.  Like suddenly wanting to go swimming, even though you haven’t in months.
  • random food cravings.  Like clam chowder.
  • sudden understanding of your pet.  It’s like we’re at the same intelligence level…..
  • sudden ability to clean.  You might not have been the best before, but you’re Industrial Strength now……
  • sudden memory recovery…… of all the e-mails you haven’t yet replied to.  Don’t be alarmed if you feel this crucial to complete immediately.  It’s normal.
  • chest pains.  Yep!  Just as fun as they sound!
  • waking up when you didn’t know you were asleep.  The best is when you’re holding something like a hair dryer or book, because you freak out when you wake up and you freak out again as you drop something.  (Bonus: when you’re on the bus, and you wake up with a jolt, having flung your arms wildly, only to get strange looks from the people around you/people you hit)
  • brain pains.  You know how diagrams show the different sections of your brain and what they’re used for?  Well you just exploded the Common Sense one.  Congratulations!  You’re now among the other 90% of the population.  😛

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, because I sure haven’t…… Umm, what am I talking about again?  I should go.  I think I have an e-mail to write.  It’s for my cat.