Maybe my newfound psychologist friends will understand this better than me, but I seem to often have what I can only describe as out-of-body experiences. I don’t necessarily see myself (that I can remember), but it’s sort of like a very real lucid dream. I’ll describe one time recently that was quite different from the others, maybe just in the amount of fear it generated in me. Basically, what happened was, I had been pulling long hours at school for quite a while, and it was starting to catch up on me. People who know me, know that I can handle an all-nighter or two, or a succession of late nights pretty well unnoticeably, so the fact that I was really starting to feel it, is pretty important. Well, one particularly late night/morning? I needed to shower before my long day ahead, and I remember having moments where my memory would just cut out entirely — I would suddenly realize I was in the shower, and that I was supposed to use soap to clean myself. So I would start doing that, and a few seconds later, realize that in actuality, a few minutes had probably passed. Or I would forget if I soaped a part of me or if I was remembering a past shower. As the shower progressed, I found it more and more difficult to keep my eyes open. Normally, this is when I know I’m close to “crashing” (a.k.a. needing sleep so badly that I don’t always make sense when I talk, I stumble when I walk, and I don’t remember what I’m doing). So my eyes, despite my best efforts, were sometimes closing, and perhaps I was having short-second naps, I’m not sure. Then, the most freaky part happened. I stood under the water with my eyes closed, hoping the heat on my face would wake me up a bit, but it didn’t. I remember having very vivid visuals (though I’m no longer sure of what they were), believing I was wherever it was, and then thinking that I wasn’t breathing because I was almost dead. My body was entirely relaxed in this “dream”, and I was at peace knowing that I no longer needed to breathe because I was dying peacefully. That’s when I started to “come back”, realized I was underwater holding my breath (without effort, it didn’t seem I needed to breathe anymore), jolted awake, and backed out of the shower spray gasping for breath. I don’t know what this meant, other than I needed to get the heck outta the shower pronto before I drowned myself standing up.
If anyone’s had any similar experiences, I would really appreciate hearing about them, as they might help me figure out exactly what happened to me…..