What Do I Want To Be?

.
.
you know, I could do it too:
hair parted, to the side
long, just long enough
maybe highlighted
face airbrushed with
foundation
concealer
powder
eyebrows darkened
plucked into perfect arches
eyes lined with dark brown
not black, that’s whorish
lashes lengthened, strengthened, darkened
teeth bleached, no gaps
posture perfect
like a ballerina
simple, elegant, regal in composure
.
and sometimes I want to be
.
but I think of everything I’d miss
if I couldn’t touch animals because they’re dirty
if I couldn’t watch bugs because they’re creepy
if I couldn’t skip in fields because I’m an adult
if I couldn’t sing aloud because I’m mature
if I couldn’t play in the sand because I’m not a child
if I couldn’t run in the sun because I’d get tanlines
if I couldn’t be who I am because it’s not who I should be
.
so I draw on my own picture a pirate’s eyepatch
a curly mustache
and a tasteful goatee
because it’s more fun
than striving for perfection
and I want people to know
that they can’t threaten me with shoulds
that people who love me
can also have fun around me
because I love when people smile
and I love even more when it’s because of me
that’s the me I want to be
.
.
.
.

Copyright L.M. 2008.

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