This is a note my friend Theresa wrote today, and I just thought I’d repost it. It’s worth a read. I feel for her, as I’m sure many will, because I’ve been in (am in?) similar circumstances, and it’s never fun being in a situation where the one you love is toxic to your emotional well-being. We need these scars to remind us where we’ve been, and not to travel the same road twice. These scars are what give us hope that it can always get better, and that it can always be worse. If everything healed completely with time, we’d never learn from our mistakes. So if we really want to heal as best we can, we have to work at it ourselves.
“That cliché “time heals all hurts” is just complete and utter bullshit. If you are hurt deep enough that hurt never leaves you. You are scarred for life by the hurt; it marks you permanently. Same thing with love. No matter what the situation, you will always love that person because they have made an irreversible impression on your life. The hurt and the love may be muted or different as time passes, but it does not heal or ever go away.
Continually being beaten down by situations out of my control has been no easy feat to face. I believe that I have been tested, and pat myself on the back for getting up every day, still hoping that life will turn out for the better no matter what. However, I struggle with the idea that the good will triumph over those who treat you like a doormat; those who have little to no respect for you, intentionally or not, even on a basic, human level and who lie, even though that lying is by omitting important facts.
It is a struggle to be satisfied with certain situations, although that struggle goes largely unnoticed, and to know when to stop and cut people out of your life that are just poisonous to you. I do not understand people who go through life emotionally disconnected from others’ emotions and feelings and claim no responsibility for the situations they have created. I also do not understand those who go through life emotionally disconnected period, those who weave in and out of many peoples’ lives thinking they leave no mark on those they have been with.
You never know or understand the pain that you have inflicted on another person unless they have that exact same pain inflicted on them. The stupidity of others’ actions, especially when those people were supposed to care and love you, also punctuates this truth. The lack of respect that I have been given appalls me to some degree, but do I need to demand respect where respect should naturally be given? I can never fully trust people ever again, nor can I expect that people will be honest or straightforward from the beginning.. “
Sorry for the rather dismal post so near and dear to Valentine’s Day (I just looked, and sure enough, it already IS Valentine’s Day), but I just thought it deserved kudos and another post. Besides, Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers and fools! (I know which one I am!)
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