Wishes and What I Couldn’t Say

I want you to take charge
I want to be held
I want so much more than I could ever ask of you
I want to be more
for you, with you
I want to be the best
and the only one worthy
I want to listen
I want to be heard
I want to know there’s so much more within
than without
I want to be there
for you to know that
I want this picture to be constantly
refreshed
I want to fear perfection
and watch as it mingles between us
knowing it could never be destroyed
and take comfort in its persistence
because eternity is long
and I’ve only got one life
and within that, not even a full trip around the Sun
so you can see why my thoughts
revolve so frequently
and why I let myself become a stepping stone
because in order to live
you must take chances
and in order to live well
you must take risks
the timing is the cruelest joke of all
soon I will not have anything
and a new friend will confuse you
and the cycle will continue
until you stop to think
a woman can’t be everything to you
if she doesn’t even cross your mind
and if she chose someone new
of course you’d feel pain
because that knowledge someone out there loves you
would be gone
and you’d want her back again

anything can be good in small doses
but they only give you small views
make you forget all frustrations
all numbed feelings
all realizations
and mask all the truths
you suffered so much to conclude

it will happen again
and again
until she becomes wiser
or until you forget her
or until you respect her
enough to be fair to her

so what should I do?
I’ll hang my heart
suspended in the limbo
I’ve been in since the start
all things predicted this
I didn’t want serious
I knew you were scandalous
friend soul mates on top of it
so the composition was writ
exactly as Fate intended
what fools we are to think
we could ever have had a say in it

      

        

Copyright L.M. 2008.  (from Jan. 3rd.).

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